Author Archives: scott

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Surfer Doctor: Season 2, Episode 5

Tonight on Surfer Doctor: Tension mounts among Surfer Doctor’s coworkers as Secret Knowing Resident begins sleeping with Surfboard Refusing Intern’s ex Pill Stealing Custodian and no one can go to Surfer Doctor for guidance because Surfer Doctor is in vibrational disharmony and Pill Stealing Custodian begins to go through withdrawal at work so one of them lets him into the pharmacy to take the edge off but he gets caught stealing pills and is arrested and some hospital board members tell Surfer Doctor he must choose which coworker will take the fall and Secret Knowing Resident volunteers to leave saying it will solve all of Surfer Doctor’s problems but the universe whispers truth to Surfer Doctor so he tearfully dismisses Surfboard Refusing Intern and she smiles and says you’re not so out of sync after all and leaves and Surfer Doctor goes to his shack for a meditative search for clarity and there’s a note stuck to the surfboard that Surfboard Refusing Intern refused in her handwriting saying this will always be who you are

Surfer Doctor: Season 2, Episode 4

Tonight on Surfer Doctor: An ancient catacomb is discovered under the city and Surfer Doctor joins the exploration team but two of the prison inmates on the digging crew fight and cause a mudslide that kills one of them and traps Surfer Doctor with the other and the inmate tells Surfer Doctor how sorry he is he’ll die before apologizing for hitting a little girl while driving drunk and putting her in a wheelchair then he passes out from lack of oxygen but Surfer Doctor notices a trickle of water from an underground reservoir and pulls on some load-bearing roots to open a torrent that clears the exit and sweeps Surfer Doctor and the inmate to safety so Surfer Doctor takes the inmate to apologize to the parents of the girl and they forgive him and the inmate tells Surfer Doctor that while he was unconscious he had a vision that Surfer Doctor will soon face a test that will determine whether he ever surfs again

Surfer Doctor: Season 2, Episode 3

Tonight on Surfer Doctor: Surfer Doctor is invited to be guest of honor at a banquet for pharmaceutical reps and he wants to decline because the industry is a profit-driven murdercamp but the board at Bayside Memorial forces him to do it in exchange for reinstating his privileges so he goes and stands at the podium and tells the whole room there’s no illness that can’t be cured with jackfruit and himalayan tree sap and the nurtured synchronicity of benevolent universal energies and one rep laughs so hard he has an aneurysm and Surfer Doctor saves him by trepanning him with a shrimp fork and applying some of the thin and oily crab bisque and after his coworkers congratulate him one hangs back and confronts him as he walks to his bicycle and says I know your secret

Surfer Doctor: Season 2, Episode 2

Tonight on Surfer Doctor: Surfer Doctor refuses to pull the plug on a comatose patient whose living will demands it and his coworkers are shocked at this apparent denial of the patient’s desire to organically transition between states of harmonic vibration so Surfer Doctor invites them over to his eclectically decorated yet indescribably calming beach shack during the
eclipse and gives away one of his surfboards to each of them but this ritual causes an uproar and one female resident refuses and suggests he give it to the rebellious teenager he basically
adopted after her cop father died in Season One so Surfer Doctor says the rebellious teenager is making a Marvel Comics Universe blockbuster now so let’s just say she’s away at college
and the arguments intensify but then several pagers go off because some medical professionals still have those and it turns out the patient has emerged from his coma a shamanic prophet and Surfer Doctor just smiles benignly at Surfboard Refusing Intern because he’d never say I told you so

Surfer Doctor: Season 2, Episode 1

Tonight on the Season 2 premiere of Surfer Doctor: Surfer Doctor’s coworkers return from their search and tell everyone at Bayside Memorial that they didn’t find any trace of Surfer Doctor but later after two of them have tension-driven sex in a basket of clean scrubs one says he wants to tell the truth and the other says they made a secret pact in Peru then a bunch of tourists from a booze cruise are brought in dying of some unknown poison and just as they’re about to expire Surfer Doctor bursts into the ward lean and sun bronzed with a molcajete of muddled beetle innards which he swabs around the nostrils of each victim as he explains that they’ve fallen prey to a rare Caribbean centipede that likes to stow away in crates of cut-rate mangos and his coworkers welcome him back and suggest they celebrate by surfing but Surfer Doctor just gazes wistfully in the general direction of the ocean and says he doesn’t do that anymore