How to Get Unfollowed by LAWBI

retweet Justin Bieber
show your belly by replying to my incredibly rude tweet about your tweet with kindness/cuteness and a friendly emoticon
stock tips?! STOCK TIPS?!
disparage curvy ladies, who are all more awesome than you’ll ever be
only tweet from Foursquare (you’re on thin ice, Jenkins)
tweet to clarify the “context” of your previous tweet
retweet more than one (1) stock contest tweet in any seven-day period–maybe if you got to work you could afford to BUY a fucking iPad
publicly beg a celebrity for a non-charity-related retweet (and yes, in this case Neil Gaiman counts as a celebrity)
earnestly praise something that is obviously, unarguably terrible, like racism or Metallica
three words: Tony Robbins quotes #killyourselfslowly

SCOTT HARRELL