I actually kind of wish the Rapture would happen tomorrow/today.

I think a whole hell of a lot of people would be surprised to discover exactly where they rank on the Almighty’s list of worthies.

Don’t get me wrong; I know where I stand. I can still get on some pretty exclusive guest lists in this town, but I’m well aware of the theoretical differences between Big Mike down at the State Theatre and the concept of St. Peter’s Velvet Rope. There’s no doubt in my mind that, should the Ascension occur over the weekend, I would not be Ascending. I would most definitely still be tethered to this world by gravity (a demonstrable characteristic of reality) and culpability (an altogether murkier concept).

But a lot of people doing what they claim to be the Lord’s work would be left behind – and at least I know how to clean a fish and start a campfire. I imagine a lot of folks who made a lot of money in the name of the Lord’s work would find their skills and fortunes quite irrelevant.

The fucking hypocrites.

The spiritual politicians who so eagerly turned a message of love into a harrowing symbol of divisiveness, hate and oppression.

It would suck to be stuck with ’em, but at the same time, it would almost be worth it.

Just to see the look on their faces.