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Category Archives: Politics
America’s Wang: Politics, Florida Style
(via The Shark Tank)
This Is How They Operate
Back in August, the Republican National Convention reached an agreement with Tampa Bay hoteliers on special rates and reservations for the period of the convention in August 2012. Contracts were signed.
Now, the RNC is reneging on those contracts, and demanding even lower rates. Because the RNC is full of self-important pricks who only know how to do business by fucking other people over in order to save a nickel.
This is just another example of how the Power Right works. This is not an anomaly, or an isolated incident, or unfortunate. This is a certain group of twats acting exactly the way it always has–with blatant disregard for decency and legality–and thinking it’s OK.
For Immediate Release: The Spin Doctor Is In
I have chosen this particular medium–my personal blog, trafficked by tens of readers completely uninterested in politics–to announce my availability as a freelance political fixer.
Am I connected? No, I am not. I am totally unknown in the political environment, where “connected” means “I can and will tell other power players about your feather fetish when I’m loaded.”
Politicians, you do not need “connected.” You need anonymity, and journalistic experience, and some understanding of both irony and the way popular culture works. You also need ideas, because, let’s face it, you made a decision to enter the world of politics, which indicates at least a modicum of developmental disability.
I can provide creative and effective solutions to any public official’s PR crisis, because A) I have extensive experience gauging public perceptions, and positioning various events to harmonize with those perceptions; B) I possess an outsider’s viewpoint, closer to that of the general public than any insider’s detached and distorted vantage; and C) I’m tired of being neutral and poor, and would like to take a crack at being evil and affluent for a few years, before paper money goes back to being something you lay on top of the cornbread and cut around to make sure every leper gets the same portion.
My resume? Fuck you, that’s my resume.
But here are a couple of examples of my manipulative prowess: Continue reading
Education & Myopia
Progs want higher quality education.
Vints want smaller government.
Yet neither seems equipped with the far-sightedness to understand that the former necessarily begets the latter.
Better education leads to better coping, decision-making and problem-solving skills, which in turn lessens the necessity for massive oversight. It’s a lot easier to assess and address issues when your learning process has been properly honed. (Also, you don’t need whole branches of government making sure you don’t eat lead paint or throw truckloads of batteries into an estuary when you’re not a hopeless dullard.)
It’s so obvious that the parties’ failure to even entertain the idea of partnering to make both their agendas a reality conjures an even more depressing possibility – that even the most open and altruistic mind, when introduced to the mechanics of politics, quickly becomes indoctrinated with the idea that the masses absolutely must stay ignorant for the individuals in control to retain their power.