9 Web Thingies I’ve Heard of but Never Used, and What I Assume They Do

Formspring – It’s a mattress company. Or maybe undergarments, for awesome curvy ladies.

Del.icio.us – A DIY porn site by some louche asshole named Del, which is weird, because I always thought Del was short for Delbert.

Quora – A non-profit dedicated to the reaching of agreeable means and positions, serving as a shining example of tolerance for the rest of the world. Or, I dunno, more porn, dedicated to an obscure goddess and vaguely sci-fi in nature.

Hipster – FIRST PERSON SHOOTER! FIRST PERSON SHOOTER!

Hipmunk – Also a first person shooter, in which players vote on the popularity of anthropomorphic animal GIFs by ironically “shooting” at them while Journey songs play.

Fab – Shit, I dunno, a social networking site for gay men? In, like, Missouri? In the ’70s?

Mashable – This may be totally off-base, but it sounds like teens talking about other teens and celebrities they’d like to make out with. You know, like maybe some new slang with which I’m “not down?” Is Justin Bieber mashable?

Kindle – Tasteful softcore-tinted dating service for the olds.

Dropbox – Like Craigslist, but without anything that doesn’t involve strangers hooking up in bathrooms.

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