On the Subject of Unsolicited Interjections

I was walking around the bar the other night, and as I passed a couple of guys I heard them trying to remember the name of the movie Pan’s Labyrinth. You know, they were doing that thing – “It’s got the, watchacallit, the fawn!” “Yeah, that was rad!” “And the douche bag Mexican general!” “Holy shit, why can’t I remember the name of that movie?!”

So I sort of leaned in as I passed and said, “I think you’re talking about Pan’s Labyrinth.”

And they both looked at me, and then one of the guys held up his drink in what I’m sure he thought was a philosophical way, with one finger pointed up, and he said, “you know, you’re right!”

And I thought, Why would he say that? Of course I’m right. I generally don’t offer unsolicited input into strangers’ conversations unless I’m pretty sure I’m not full of shit. I only put the “I think” at the front of my statement so I wouldn’t come off like a dick. Do people actually just interject completely unrelated bullshit into private discussions among people they don’t know?

And then I thought, Actually, that might be fun.

So that’s what I do now.

“She said she likes that place, but the hibiscus tea has too much sugar in it.”

“What’s a hibiscus?”

“It’s a flower.”

And I lean in and say, “Actually, the hibiscus is among the most dangerous of the Caribbean fighting eels. They make delicious tea, though.”


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