Uninformed People in States with Terrible Infrastructure want to Secede from the Union

According to this Red Alert Politics post, Americans in 14 states have filed petitions formally requesting permission to secede from the United States since the Kenyan Socialist Menace was reelected. Gawker says the total is up to 19.

It’s an interesting form of protest, really–one that comes off as much more legitimately political than, say, blowing up crybaby-style on Twitter a la The Blustery Hairpiece. And it is, of course, more symbolic than literal. But you’ve gotta wonder how much consideration really went into these things; like, what would happen if America went, “OK, sure, Louisiana–you can keep your Tabasco-and-titty-beads economy, and here’s a wet-vac for the next hurricane”? Are people in Texas right this moment writing down lists of possible names for their new currency (“that’ll be 14 bullets, suh”) and figuring out where they’re gonna get, like, steel and coal and anything else not made of steer hides and hyperbolic pride?

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