Last week’s story about a woman allegedly naming her new baby daughter Hashtag has social media all, aherm, a-twitter over the future of the Christian name.
Have we gone too far in search of uniqueness? Is nothing sacred? Are we doomed to live our golden years tormented by the conversations we overhear among young people, unsure whether they’re talking about people named after things or, like, actual things?
On the one hand, if it’s true, well, that’s a pretty crappy thing to do to your newborn. Hash is a pretty OK nickname for the dim-witted confidential informant in your crime novel, but your real-life daughter? What’s more, it’s difficult to fathom how someone could be so obsessed with an Internet phenomenon, and not realize that Twitter will probably be long gone before the kid gets through elementary school. She’s gonna have to explain that shit to everyone, and it’s not even a cool story, like she was named after the call sign for her great-grandfather the World War II bombardier and bullfighting cabaret crooner. Nope:
“My parents liked a website for a while. It’s gone now.”
(Insert slidey sad trombone notes here.)
On the other hand, if it isn’t true — if it’s just some corporate viral campaign or ingenious satire — the name Hashtag has already served its purpose: It identified anyone and everyone who thought a name like Hashtag was cute, or clever, or timely, or unique as an utter jackhole.