Last week, a few of the best kind of nerds — the kind that apply their respective staggering intellects to exploring the nature of our physical universe rather than to, say, creating supremely funny doctored jpegs — made a mind-blowing announcement. These finest of minds might have kind of, sort of, maybe uncovered evidence that the Holy Grail of physics, the Higgs boson, the so-called “God particle,” may exist.
(I understand that’s a lot of qualifiers. Bear with me.)
Naturally, the Internet erupted in praise, commentary, consideration and supremely funny doctored jpegs. It also manifested a surprising amount of commentary from Christians inspired by the news to, in somehow typically un-Christian fashion, tell atheists to suck it.
Because they assumed the “God particle” has something to do with proving the existence of God.
Read more at Creative Loafing …
According to a recent io9 post, an educational text produced by a Christian curriculum planner cites the existence of the Loch Ness Monster as proof that A) Evolution doesn’t happen, and so therefore B) God is real, the Earth is only 4,000 years old, the Bible is a literal history of reality, etc.
I had no idea that the following things had happened:
- The existence of Nessie had been absolutely confirmed
- Nessie had been indisputably identified as a living plesiosaur
- The existence of a single anomalous animal had been accepted as de facto proof that nowhere in nature did adaptation or evolution occur
Then again, I just read today that unicorns are mentioned nine times in the Old Testament, so what do I know? The publisher could’ve gone for at least a little credibility and used the coelacanth.
Often, I think one of the biggest reasons why open-minded and progressive people don’t get more accomplished in the political and cultural environments is simply this: They can’t bring themselves to be as mean-spirited, selfish and judgmental as others.
I can. Fuck you, others. You’re pathetic, frightened morons so terrified of anything you don’t understand the only way you can acknowledge it is to assume that your god considers it an abomination. Um, that’s caveman shit. CAVEMAN SHIT. That’s how quasi-humans that lived among their own waste dealt with thunder.
Gay is the new thunder. I believe I have my album title. (Not that Chaz Bono is gay–“Gay is the new thunder” is just a neater phrase than “Transgendered is the new thunder,” you know?)
But yeah, those of you that believe someone like Chaz Bono is somehow fundamentally different from you, or some sort of aberration, haven’t come very far in the last 65,000 years. Get the fuck out of my way, idiots–I intend to evolve.