Climb in here under the covers with me, and we’ll cower together and sing a rousing verse of “We Don’t Deserve to Endure as a Species:”
You know the words, sing along: “We should feed/All their faces/to the mad … “
When thieves stole half a million dollars’ worth of medical equipment from Orlando’s Florida Hospital Center for Diagnostic Pathology, they got a little something extra: “a substance that could eat away at human skin.”
Here’s the Orlando Sentinel story, via Gizmodo.
In some countries, they fight for release from oppression. In Florida, they fight for ugly Nike basketball kicks.
A Foot Locker promotion timed to coincide with the NBA All-Star Game in Orlando went, well, completely as could’ve been predicted last night. The Orlando Sentinel has the story and video.
Yesterday, Stephen A. Brewster of Sarasota reached a milestone not passed by many–not even here in Florida. He has now been arrested 40 times. His latest collar was for car burglary; his record includes arrests for everything from fraud and forgery to grand theft.
Oh – and Brewster hasn’t reached the age of 35 yet.
Tampa Bay’s 10 News has the story here. You can peruse Brewster’s portfolio of mug shots (and variations on the theme of “buzz cut”) here.
The guy who leaves his kid in a running car while doing a drug deal, or the guy who steals a running car without noticing there’s a fucking baby in it?
Tough call, really. But that’s Florida for ya.
Been very lax about getting my Sardonicus on here. Recent Creative Loafing columns here and here.