Tag Archives: immigration

lawbi #11: Where The White Things Are

I’m white.

Like, white-white. Like, Scandinavian-albino white.

I can’t dance. I speak Spanish with all the liquid eloquence of a computer’s text-to-speech program. I only listen to hip-hop from the late ’80s and early ’90s. I like my seafood fried and my movies full of tits and fire. I fear slang, and coolness, and persons of color I don’t already know. I love the Christian God for giving me the personal freedom to do shady, selfish things, and for forgiving me when I’m done.

What I’m saying is, I’m so white, I could almost qualify as Canadian.

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