Tag Archives: parenting

LAWBI #28: Your Kids Suck Because You Suck, And That’s All

I knew a woman who, as a young single mother, took a job as an exotic dancer to make sure the bills got paid. The bills did get paid, and the lights stayed on, and the car was almost always running to get the kid first to day care and then to school, and there was always decent food on the table. The woman’s child grew up healthy and sensible and well-adjusted; now grown and married, the child is as capable and headstrong as the mother.

I know another woman who went the same route to ensure that her child never went hungry. She and her youngster have a supportive circle of friends and loved ones as devoted as any blood family could ever hope to be.

I’ve got a friend, a smart friend whose brains often couldn’t seem to keep him out of trouble when he was younger; he’s got an impressive arrest record and an even more impressive backlog of brawler’s tales. He’s also got a wonderful wife, and a little one so imaginative and intelligent it’s terrifying.

Read the rest at Creative Loafing …

lawbi #10: We’d Have Hovercars By Now If The Government Didn’t Have To Teach Your Dumb-Ass Kids

OK, so, here in Florida legislators have passed a bill that will tie a teacher’s income to the performance of their students, and prosecutors hard-balling 18-year-old high school students for having felonious sex with willing underage participants. In Wisconsin, they’ve got a new law providing guidelines for sex education that include information about contraception, and a District Attorney warning educators that they could be charged with a crime for mentioning birth control.

All of this, mind you, in the course of a single news day last week.

These stories are just the latest few inches on the mountainous pile of evidence that America has completely absolved its incompetent parents of any culpability for producing dumb, damaged, deranged offspring. If somebody’s 17-year-old snowflake breaks into your house, and you hurt him, you’re far more likely to be sued or arrested than you are to see any recompense for your own trauma. We’re seeing a pattern of governmental action sending the message that abdication of responsibility is acceptable; apparently, it’s a foregone conclusion that some folks are just too stupid or absent to teach their children the basics, and the legislature needs to step in to keep them from being a danger to the body politic.

So yeah, a lot of you parents out there are incompetent, and you’re being coddled by one of the few governments on the planet that still believes it can mitigate abject idiocy. It can’t, of course — it’s still arguing the same pressing issues it began to address toward the end of the Civil War — and so the responsibility will inevitably fall upon those entities it always does: Corporations.

Hell, they raise your dumb kids already anyways.

Read the rest at CL …